Stand Still by Ailcia
Yeah.........stand still while this writer almost breaks your heart with the sheer beauty and thoughtfulness of her work. Like a lot of my favourite writing – especially the shorter pieces – the beauty (for me) lies in the writer’s ability to handle the words, to manipulate or play with them and to place them together within an unusual context e.g. springtime determination - it's not just clever writing but it's also sweet and seductive; or, the flat was fresh and full of promise. And I loved the flow of her writing; the use of the present tense and the almost poetic quality to a lot of it:

The breeze that wafts through the small flat is fresh and full of promise. It drifts through each room of musty flat with a certain springtime determination to make everything seem that much brighter, that much more rejuvenated.

A beautiful beginning which immediately has the desired effect of drawing me in, at least in my imagination, which is all I can ask of any writer.

And I think the thoughtfulness of the writing lies in her great powers of observation, whether that observation is centred on the characters themselves or on the details which surround them. Details which could so easily become tedious, which I might have glossed over because they *were* mere details, but in her skilled hands become part of the poetry and so, I too, like Bodie, stand back in fascination, mesmerised by the vision of Doyle’s ‘lifting curls’:

The breeze lifts a curl from Doyle's forehead, toys with it for a second, before setting it back down the wrong way. Bodie automatically brushes it back into place, before patting the curls flat and watching in vague delight as they spring back to attention when he lifts his hand. Just like Doyle, the locks are dead set in their ways. Inordinately amused by this, Bodie does it again, and again, and each time the soft, copper strands snap back into curls, no matter how hard he presses.

I mean, I've never been so fascinated by curls before! Great observation which the writer successfully translates onto paper.......Is this one of the things which makes average writing, *very good* writing? Must be, surely......

And Bodie’s permanent state of restlessness, another example of how good the writer is at drawing out and expanding upon the unremarkable, making interesting some of the less noticeable features of B & D, but features, nonetheless, which go a long way to explain who they are and maybe what it is about each of them which attracts the other:

The bright sunshine draws his eye out at the world; even London's rooftops shine under a spring sun, and Bodie shifts in his chair, itching to get out and explore. They could do anything, today, could go anywhere and be anyone they wanted. And no one, not any of their mob, not even The Cow himself, would be any the wiser for being left behind and forgotten about, for just a day. Just one day, just them lost in the wide world.

And the clever use of his 'restlessness' as a symbol for the shortness of their lives, their time together and the need to savour what they have:

He wants to reach out and grab hold of the day by the throat, shake the life out of it and have it as his own. Before everything that could have been is lost forever. There'd be nothing he could do about it, and Bodie hates that feeling. Tomorrow, he could be dead; sitting inside while the sun is blazing and time is rushing by outside seems like madness. He wants to be out there, chasing the sunshine.

What a beautiful, Bodie-like expression chasing the sun - from now on I'll always think of that phrase when I think of Bodie.

And just what is it about the back of necks which, to borrow from byslantedlight, is so 'throat-catching' - I've never felt quite the same way about them since seeing Bodie trying to kiss Marika's in Fall Girl:

Familiar lips brush across the back of his neck; Bodie, startled out of his stare, shivers and turns round. Doyle has somehow managed to cross the room without making a sound, and snuck up on him. He hits Bodie the side of the head with his book.

And, finally, it's writing with a heart:

And he leans down and kisses Bodie; a quick, tender press of the lips, as warm as the sun streaming in through the window. His fingers brush lightly across Bodie's cheek, as light as the breeze, and Bodie leans into the touch without even realising, completely disarmed, as always.

Is it *just* me who melts at the thought of a rough and tough Bodie being emotionally disarmed by his partner?

I think it was callistosh65 who said this story was a very fine Pros debut and I'd have to agree with that. Thank you, Ailcia.

http://www.thecircuitarchive.com/tca/archive/18/standstill.html